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[that sounds horrible. Ace can tell there's something he's very sad about and that hurts. He doesn't want Zoro to be sad in front of him or any of Luffy's nakama if it comes to that. Anyone important to Lu is his responsibility, especially when they're right in front of him]

Do you want to change that? It's really fun. I bet Barty knows some girls. He knows everyone. Or maybe I can hook you up with Torao since you have something in common.

[Zoro shakes it off and lifts his head, sliding easily back into his usual too-cool-for-you demeanor]

It's not like I'm in any hurry. It's fine, whatever, you know. I dunno, I mean Torao would be decent but I get the feeling he's not interested in that shit. [he's only guessing, though, judging by the fact that Law is the least friendly asshole ever. And coming from a fellow asshole, that's really saying something.

And yet, he can't stop his gaze drifting slightly over his shoulder toward where their hammocks hang, and there's a cook somewhere in the darkness there...]

I don't wanna know any girls Barty knows, though. Seriously. I have my doubts about his taste.

Yeah his taste isn't great but I be he knows girls who knows all the right things. [he scratches his cheek] Not sure about guys though...

[he turns slightly to follow Zoro's gaze to their hammocks and then looks back at him]

You wanna do Luffy?!

[BIGGER SMACK]

NO! Fuck...

[that was a mental image he didn't need. He loves his captain but not in that way, particularly since their topic of conversation is mainly just getting laid]

What do you know about it, anyway? Maybe I'm just not into any of that at all. Girls who know the right things...feh...

[he's already tipped his hand, though, so there's no use denying it]

[punch back and then pull in for a noogie] Good! I thought I'd have to kill you, greenie! [no one corrupts his baby brother's innocence]

It's fine if you're not into anything. But... haven't you ever felt like you'd just burst if you didn't get some in? Like sometimes just rubbing it out doesn't cut it, you know?

[nope, no corrupting here. Zoro even submits to the noogie because lord knows he can dish it out so he'd better be able to take it]

I dunno...maybe? [it's a good thing it's late, they're the only ones up, and he's got booze in him, or else what is this discussion even] I don't even do that very much, just when I really can't sleep. It helps me calm down.

[he slumps against Ace, leeching off his warmth] More like. Sometimes. [looking around] ...you better not ever tell anybody I said this. But sometimes, I get in a good fight, and when it's over I feel like I'm still wound up and I gotta get off. Strong people do that to me.

....That's hot. [Oops. He said that aloud. But the mental image alone...] Is that why you wear baggy pants? [tugs at them. It's a really smart idea!]

Huh? No! Wait, what are you talking about? My pants aren't baggy!

[easy to fluster, easy to distract. Really, given how they were talking about Law and his painted-on jeans, anything more comfortable than that must constitute baggy.]

They'd definitely hide a boner though. And they're soft too so it wouldn't feel terrible. [plucks at the fabric]

[GEEZ ACE]

...I didn't mean it literally. I have more control than that, shit.

[course you know someone said boner so it's hard not to think about it]

Ah, really? [he grins] You're a better man than me! I can't stop it once it goes. It has a mind of its own. [whaps his shoulder in a manly way]

[this seems like a good time for another deep drink from the bottle]

What, are you some kinda pervert or something? [but he grins, to show that he's just teasing. He knows perverts. It's not a fatal flaw] Guess it comes from being such a hot-head, huh? All the energy, hair-trigger...

Yeah. [he leans in, smiling evilly and says near Zoro's ear] Wanna see?

[challenge.......ACCEPTED.]

You gonna show me something I ain't seen before?

[complete with eyebrow waggle. Either he's going to get his bluff called and have to deal with it, or Ace is just being a shit as usual. Either way, Zoro finds it highly entertaining]

Maybe I will. [slips a hand to the small of Zoro's back and leans in even closer.] Think you can handle it, Roronoa? [nips his earlobe]

[let's just set the alcohol out of the way just in case...]

I can handle anything you throw at me, Ace. Trust me.

[sweet! Half joking, half serious, he tackles Zoro and bites his neck, sliding a hand against his chest just because. He sort of forgot Zoro couldn't turn to smoke though so bit harder than he intended and rakes his short nails over Zoro's scar just to see what he'll do.]

[we'll chalk that one up to bluff called then, oops. Zoro's got no complaints, though, even as he thuds onto his back with Ace on top of him. The bite doesn't faze him at all, that's just how he likes it, but then the scar...oh god the scar...

For a moment he had been planning on wrestling Ace right back but touching his scar is like flipping a switch, one that makes him growl happily under Ace's weight.]

...shit...

[oh he felt that one. And the growl makes him happy. He wants to hear that again. He bites again a little lower since Zoro doesn't seem to mind that and scratches again, following the scar all the way down]

You like that, greenie? Does it turn you on?

Ngh... [YES??!! Dammit Ace. Zoro tenses under him, abs flexing underneath the haramaki. He gets his arms free to start shoving Ace off if he wants to, or maybe just shove his face away for a second] Don't call me that...

[only slightly better than marimo, maybe. He gets a hand on Ace's chin and drags him up to give him a daring look]

Just like Luffy, you just go after whatever you want, huh?

Damn right I do. [he didn't know if he wanted Zoro or not, but he liked to see him squirm and wanted to see him lose it.]

Who do you think taught him? [okay so Luffy was pretty persistent on his own, but who cares? He nibbles the line of skin between Zoro's thumb and finger and then trails his hand back up again, ghosting it almost to tweak at a nipple and see what he does]

[likewise, Zoro's not into Ace the way he's into a certain cook, but he's not kidding about being turned on by strength and there's a very good example of it pawing him right now. Besides. CHALLENGE. ACCEPTED.]

I'm pretty sure you didn't teach Luffy anything like this...

[he shoves that hand idly against Ace's face again just to dislodge his teeth and then rakes it up and through all that dark hair. The persistent touch has him breathing a little quicker, more forcefully, but it's going to become painfully clear before too long that Zoro really is a dumb virgin who has no idea what to do]

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